We are all a part of the vampyre community because it is where we find like minded people, support, companionship, hope, and for some of us, escape from the mundane world we occupy. The time I spend with those whose experiences mirror mine is invaluable. We are able to talk freely about the ordinary and mystical. Together we question our sanity and hold each other up when we are down and unsure of ourselves. There are few in the real and occult world who would grant legitimacy to vampyrism beyond a psychological condition and they may be right. Due to this, it behooves us to search for answers, be introspective and honest, and to discuss amongst ourselves research, experiments, social aspects, and the like to deepen our understanding of vampyrism and each other. In the spirit of this, a good friend of mine suggested that over a short period of time, I might consider writing down moments when I was able to use my nature, be it mystical or otherwise, to help others.
As a brief point of background on this, I believe that part of the design of this exercise was to make me feel better about the fact that I am a vampyre. This has never been an easy road for me to walk. I am a vampyre both in the manner of psychology (naturally tempered heavily by contemporary society’s views of what a vampyre is like through legend, movies, and writing) as well as by the generally accepted need for external energy. I, as a matter of course, fully question my sanity and the reality of my circumstances fairly often. We, as humans, bend reality to what we desire in order to make the world a place in which we enjoy living. Some of us become vampyres because it satisfies a need that we have. This exercise is one way to see that what I am (choose to be) allows me to be able to help people. Now, is it possible to look at these circumstances and say they are nothing other than ordinary? Yes. Is it also possible to say that by virtue of being vampyric and all that goes with it that it allowed me to help these people? Yes. I leave to the readers to pass their own judgments.
I hold a Wednesday Wing Chun kung fu class in my basement. This is a wonderful practice that blends the practice of manipulation of qi with the practicality of self defense. I have found that the qigong aspects of this practice enhances the feeling of energy and my own needs as well as the sensitivity I have toward others within physical proximity. My wife and I have a friend living with us while she is between homes and employment. I came up from class and she was in the kitchen at the stove. For some reason, I was instinctively drawn to her. It became clearer after the fact that I could sense that she needed energy and/or healing. I am not in any way a touchy feely type of man. I have very rarely put my hands on her. However, in this instance, I walked to her immediately and placed my hands on her shoulders and back and pressed the excess energy I had into her in an attempt to make her feel better. To make the situation a bit more surreal, she neither back away from me nor questioned it, she merely submitted to it. As a possible side effect to what I did was that the following morning she was up before either my wife or I. She said she hadn’t been able to sleep much if at all that night as she was too wired. Now, she isn’t a great sleeper anyway, but she is never, ever up before my wife and I and doesn’t normally suggest she was awake all night long.
As a general aside, I would like to relate this experience to a thought I have regarding magic and ritual. With our housemate I saw no aura, felt a request (in the sense of a telepathic thought); required a divining or ritual to feel the pull of magic. This is where magic becomes living. There is no longer separation of magic and mundane life. All life becomes magic and is a part of you. This is something you will come to see and accept. When you do, ritual will become something you do for the pleasure of doing it, but it will not be necessary.
One evening as my wife and I sat in the library reading, one of our foster collies was being particularly annoying. I could feel my wife’s agitation at all the pacing and other unpleasant activities of the dog. As the collie proceeded along its unfortunate path, I could feel the agitation rising quickly in my wife. It is easier and less impressive for a husband and wife to be in tune with each other, but this particular case (and evening), it was beyond normal levels of intuitiveness, at least from my obviously biased perspective. I decided the dog needed to stop and I rose from the couch and took two steps to the dog and it flopped to the floor, lowered its head and ears in obvious submission. My wife just looked at me with a stunned expression. You see, part of the reason the dog was with us was because it was highly stubborn, didn’t submit to people, and was generally ornery. I didn’t get up with any particular malice toward the dog, but was simply going to take it to another room. However, I was projecting a lot of energy at the time and knew the dog needed to learn its place. It seemed that this moment aided my wife and educated the dog simultaneously.
I have noted three separate occasions when people have spoken to me about some rather personal issues. I had mentioned before that I am not a touchy feely person and this, for the most part, extends to my personality as well. I am sure many have noted that when I write it often feels a bit clinical. On one occasion a friend and I were going to see the movie “Hero”. On the way to the theater, he opened up to me about the journey he is now taking down the pagan road. I had sensed some confusion in him prior to this and over the past year, but nothing I could put my finger on. On two other occasions, friends have opened up to me about their personal lives and feelings about friends and circumstances surrounding them. This is information they have never revealed to me nor in such intimacy. I attribute this, at least in part, to the calming influence of the energy that I project and cultivate. I try and envelope those who are near me with a calm and inviting energy. This leads them to feel more comfortable as well as not feeling threatened. This I equate to healing through listening.
It seems almost oxymoronic to think of individuals of a dark nature as people others would want to seek or open up to. Think of it, dark souls as healers? If you really dwell on the idea, vampyres as healers in any sense borders on the surreal. I know that I certainly do not feel like any type of healer.
It is hard to express the circumstances surrounding these instances with any degree of accuracy. In order to go into the detail that could capture even the basic of nuance would be more than most would want to read. I would also repeat that it is very possible to look at this in a very ordinary way and suggest that there is nothing extraordinary about them. I would not truly be able to debate that. Being a part of them, however, is a very different experience and magic or the talents that come with vampyrism are most prevalent in the mundane moments in life. Magic is frequently not about summoning the great Cthulhu from its slumber, but rather that which we find in every day life. I would ask that those who read this might look into their own lives for moments such as those I have related. Write them down as I have done. Making note of these experiences and sharing them with others provides a wonderful means for personal growth.
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