Recently a friend I was chatting with suggested an exercise for me. I have been a bit at a loss for things to write about or activities outside of what I already do on a regular or semi regular basis. The basic idea was whenever I sensed energy to see if I could identify how it felt to me. This is different than the way I and many people I know deal with energy. Most react to energy in an intellectual or work-like manner. An example of this would be when you need to feed. You identify the energy you desire, pull it into yourself, concentrate it, align its signature to yourself, use what you need and store the rest. To simply allow energy to be and permit your creative mind to interpret it for you is something I have found to be of value. Personally, I tend to view energy from a more martial point of view because that is where I truly began to understand and fully appreciate it. This is also where I began researching the phenomenon of energy. In my pursuit of energy, physics has taught me that all things we perceive are, at its core, energy. Thus, my desk, computer, the air I breathe, my cubical neighbor, Dilbert calendar, the tea I am drinking, and myself are all energy. All of these things are connected. This is the foundation from which I begin this experience. The notes that I am writing from will cover what I felt when I performed “Damn Yankees” at Lyric Music Theater, the Saturday I spent at the Cumberland County Fair, holding a cup of hot tea, and surface/proximity contact with other people.
Before I proceed with my journey of energy, I would like to relate a bit more regarding science’s view of energy. We are all familiar with the formula E=MC^2. This basically postulates that matter multiplied by the speed of light squared is equivalent to energy. Thus, fundamentally, all matter is energy. We are made up of atoms, which can be broken down into electrons, neutrons, and protons. These building blocks can be further broken down. If you could look at the world from this point of view, you would see no difference between any object you would be looking at. All things would be made of the same ‘stuff’. This leads me to Dean Radin’s theory of Field Consciousness. This is the idea that all of our minds are connected through energy. If all the world chose to focus on influencing an event, the force of energy this would bring about would effect the outcome as desired by this collective consciousness (sounds a bit like the Borg from Star Trek). The point I wish to make here, is that energy is not only all around us, but that we are connected more tightly than most people are want to think.
At the time of this writing I am in a production of “Damn Yankees” at one of my local community theaters. I thought that it would be a good place to begin. I knew that I would not need to initiate in order to sense energy. This is one arena where even those who are not particularly sensitive to energy should be able to feel it. When an audience is in thrall to a live show, the energy coming from them electrifies the air. There is an evident exchange occurring between the actors and the audience, each feeding the other. The energy there was almost visible to me as a fine mist hovering around and above them. It crashed through me like waves from an ocean, though it was warm. It was lively and exciting. However, I was not able to focus upon this experience very long. I have discovered a problem in that to properly experience this energy required some amount of focus that is difficult to maintain when you also must give yourself over to the character you are playing. The two fight for prominence and I had to ultimately give way to the performance rather than energetic experience.
My second experience happened at a local fair. It was outside one of the barns that housed exhibits of poultry, rabbits, and other farms animals. I turned to face the amusement rides before entering and discovered a horrendously powerful vibration moving through my body. It was not altogether unpleasant, but because of the unexpected impact of it, I was not prepared. You see, in order to help facilitate energetic experiences, I felt the need to leave myself more open than usual. The only way I can express how this particular experience felt would be to suggest it was similar in nature to one of those massage pads that you can plug in and use at home. The difference was that I felt this all over my body. It felt nothing like my experience at the theater. What makes energetic experience different from one another? Energy is energy, correct? Well, energy can hold an emotional charge (this is speculation, of course. Nothing is this field is proven or even close to such). It is also influenced by your own state, mental preparedness for dealing with it, possibly location and any number of unknown variables. To assume experiences can be easily defined and categorized is an impossible task.
As an additional sensation, I thought I would play with a cup of hot tea. My first two were centered a bit around feeding. The energy I experienced there was brought on partly by my need to consume. Thus, two highly charged environments with lots of people. Not all Energy, however, is consumable by vampyres (expanding this idea is a topic for another time). This does not mean that we cannot experience its effects though. As vampyres, we are deficient in the energy production arena, thus our need to find external supplementation. Because of our need for energy, vampyres would have a natural inclination toward sensing and manipulating it. So, with this in mind, I tried to see what a cup of hot tea would be like. Initially, the idea was to experience energy when it ‘happened’. What I was doing now was forcing the sensing of energy. Thus, it took a bit before I was relaxed enough to feel it. Obviously, the energy radiating in the form of heat is something that most could experience. However, my practice of manipulation allowed this feeling to spread into my hands and up into my body. This was met by my own energy meeting and mixing with it. It was a tingly, mild feeling, like wearing a heavy sweater. I invite any who read this to experiment with this a little bit. This type of energy is very different from the energy of living things.
The remaining experiences I would like to bring up are moments when contact or proximity to other people created an energetic experience. Actually, just moments before continuing this piece, I walked by another gentleman at work coming back from eating lunch. As he passed by, a wave of sensation came over me of indiscernible emotions and images. It felt like a vague impression of unhappiness, or mild depression. As I was not trying to read him or absorb anything, none of it was clear, but the energy stuck to me like sticky cotton candy for another 10 or 15 steps. The energy of individuals is always different. Even people you come into regular contact with will change each time to come into contact with them. There is a friend that I am in the play with whose energy always feels confused to me. I find out that he is still trying to find himself in respect to his personal beliefs. He is finally following in the solitary witch’s path. However, until I realized this, he always felt, to me, like a swirling wind, or a rough lake surface. These contacts revolve around energy exchanges that are non-vampyric as, again, the exercise is more about spontaneous interactions than forced ones.
I would like to take a moment, however, to discuss the play of energy regarding vampyric versus non vampyric exchanges. We interact with energy everyday. It is always there and a good practice would be to make yourself aware of it. The majority of the time we go through each day without giving it conscious thought. It is only when we desire something or are in the process of feeding do we pay any attention. We effect the environment around us whether we want to or not by our nature. In exchange for this sensitivity, energy, in turn, affects us emotionally and physically. This is what we experience daily in non vampyric terms. When we are actually using our vampyric skills, particularly when feeding, we exercise greater control over energy. It changes from a sensation to something more concrete in our minds. We become a part of the environment or whatever it is we are connected to. We become greater than ourselves.
I think this was a very good opportunity for me to go back to fundamentals. It was challenging in that it brought about thinking of energy and experiencing it in a new way. It allowed me to see how much it really affected me on a regular basis and how much a part of my life it is. We are a part of our environment. We move through it and yet are inextricably tied to it. We are a part of each other, connected in ways we may possibly never understand fully. Life is experiential. We owe it to ourselves and to those who will come after us to acquire as much of this experience and record it. In so doing we will grow as a vampyric community. In so doing we will grow closer to truths we all seek to find.
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