Lycanthropy, Therianthropy, and Me!
Of all the therians I know, whether in person or on-line, I am the only who has not experienced therianthropic episodes throughout the various stages of my life and psychological development. Instead, I experienced what could more easily be labelled lycanthropic episodes. They are not something I mention casually or (generally) with reference to either the presence of archetypes in general within my psychic composition or as related to therianthropy, mainly because it's easy to attribute them to psychological causes that lie outside the metaphysical. However, the development of my dreamscape and the images which would often make themselves known in writing (i.e. poetry and prose) reflect the presence of some darker archetype which dates back to the days of drawing antlered stick figures on cavern walls. The presence of said archetype over the years is perhaps the one thing (or one of the few things) that allow me to rule out the possibility of clinical lycanthropy (another factor being the nature of the episodes themselves, which have a cycle reminiscent of the manic and depressive stages of bi-polar disorder as opposed to the symptoms of clinical lycanthropy).
I have composed a metaphysical diagram based on these experiences and observations. My khat (associated with Malkhuth) is, of course, fully human. I cannot and will not deny this. As such, it houses the physiological basis of my mind and experience. Residing immediately below that, within the Sefirah of Yesod, is my khaibit. This subconscious repository serves as the seat of my therianthropic experience, as it harbours the Abyssinian wolf which is typically felt as white noise in the back of my head. Deep under the surface of the pool obscured by my subconscious, housed within Tifereth is my akh. As the Ruah Hakodesh (divine inspiration) which is the voice of the poetically named Holy Guardian Angel, the egregore of Yinepu (Anubis) the psychopomp is felt. As the (higher) Self, the egegore of Wepwawet (an earlier apsect of Yinepu, dating back to Aha/King Scorpion/Narmer and the Kemetic diety associated with Tifereth on my own Tree of Life diagram) is felt.
The interesting thing about this model lies in how the centre mode serves as a buffer between the outer modes: Yesod serves as a buffer between Tifereth and Malkhuth, the therianthropic experience serves as a buffer between lycanthropic and human natures, the jackal/wolf (kebero in the Ethiopian language, and the name for the Abyssinian wolf) is one of the avatars by which Yinepu-Wepwawet is manifest in the physical, the khaibit is the buffer between the rest of the soul and the khat. As a buffer between the lycanthropic and the human, my therianthropic nature could not be expressed until such time as I possessed a measure of control over my own psychological states. Since certain childhood experinces have made such control a hard-won prize, it explains the lack of early therianthropic experiences, which is part of what began this line of introspective enquiry.